Having taken dance from a young age, I would consider my strengths to be coordination and rhythm. Even when I was not taking a dance class as a youngster, I was always dancing around the house to the Jackson 5, or choreographing musical numbers with my friends. While my technique has not been perfected by years of intense training, my rhythm and coordination is more natural, and it comes from somewhere other than training. These qualities have helped me pick up choreography over the years fairly easily. Even if it takes me three months to finally nail down a double pirouette (as it did last year), I can pick up the timing and general movement of choreography easily. I don't know how this ever came to be a trait of mine. It probably sprouted from my inability to live life without music. In my car, before I go to sleep, during study halls, I am always surrounding myself with music, and new beats and rhythms. It is also impossible for me to listen to a song without seeing it sung or performed to in my head. So I am constantly making connections between sounds and movement, and over the years, it seems to have developed into an instinctual habit. My weaknesses on the other hand are plentiful.
Some of the most obvious weaknesses are my terrible performance face, which looks like the cover of a horror film DVD (I literally look like I am going to kill someone), or my initail self-consciouness when I learn a new dance. While my scary face is never intentional, it frequently hinders me. Especially with musical theater, when it is an actor's job to be expressive and upbeat. I am a happy person, don't get me wrong, but for some reason, when I dance, I look like I am possessed by some dance demon. It has come in handy in the past, like during the witch dance in last year's spring play, Dark of the Moon, but nevertheless it is an issue. But my largest weakness in dance is self-consciousness. As an actor, I am constantly forced to push out of my comfort zone, and I jump into this forcefully, not afraid to make mistakes, knowing that failure is the place where success is born. But for some reason when I dance it is harder to push that limit. I am not afraid to look silly, because I do this on a daily basis without someone telling me to, so I am not sure where this self-consciousness comes from. It may be that I think that since I lack serious training, I don't know what I'm doing, which is false. But I am working hard to change this. For example, the other day in class I almost fell over during an across the floor combination because I finally pushed myself. Even though it was messy, it showed me that I need to take more risks in order to improve, and I intend to do so.
"It may be that I think that since I lack serious training, I don't know what I'm doing, which is false."
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience because I didn't start dancing until high school and for a long time didn't feel like I was a "trained dancer" or good enough to be taking classes with the advanced dancers. This was false and it is false in your case too! You have a natural talent- which not all "trained dancers" have. And you do know what you're doing- but that doesn't have to mean you know everything. As I teacher, I still have so much more to learn and that excites me! We will never get to a place where we know everything about dance. Use your natural abilities and your knowledge thus far to propel you to learn more and dance with more conviction and passion. Don't be afraid of what you don't know or what you can't do. Embrace what you DO know and what you CAN do and push yourself to go further!